Hallmark For All Seasons

I have one more week in 2021 and more movies to review.  I may have to do a ranking-only for a couple, but I’ll do my best to create write-ups for a couple more before the new year begins!

“A Royal Queens Christmas,” aired earlier this month, on December 11, as part of 2021’s Countdown to Christmas on Hallmark Channel.  It starred Megan Park and Julian Morris. We had writing credits galore on this one: Steven Peterman, Gary Dontzig, Lee Friedlander and Markus Flanagan were all listed in the credits.  Lee Friedlander also directed.  Toronto, Canada filled in for New York City.

This movie poster is barely Christmas.  They have the tree peeking in from the side and she’s wearing a red coat with a green shirt, but that’s the only thing to indicate it’s a Christmas movie. ButpProps to the apartment building in the background for Queens!

In a nutshell

Having lived in Queens for 4 years, I wanted this movie to be filled with Queens accents and attitudes.  It was not. Despite this, I found that myself thoroughly enjoying the craziness of how bad this movie was.

Music: The movie featured two songs by Jonny Blu.  Happy Happy Hanukkah played during the snowball fight, while Holiday For Two played while they were doing some tree decorating.

The Plot of “A Royal Queens Christmas”

A prince finds his way to Queens during Christmas when a local woman enlists his help with a children’s Christmas show.  

Actors & Chemistry

Hallmark fans will recognize Megan Park from several Hallmark and Lifetime projects, as well as “The Secret Life of an American Teenager.”  Julian Morris will always be Ryan Gosineaux (from “New Girl”) to me, but others will recognize him from “Pretty Little Liars” and “24,” among many others.

I thought the two were an okay pair together, but she always seems so young to me.  Even in 2018’s “Time For Me To Come Home For Christmas,” I thought she was young, and now it’s 3 years later and I still feel that way!  And that’s not a knock against her at all – just a comment on how old I am. *lol*

Anyway, I thought they looked good together but I never really got a feeling of true romantic connection between the two of them.  The words they said implied romantic interest, but there was no real romantic energy.

Tropes

So. Many. Tropes.  This was a good one for trope spotting, which made me happy.  First off, the story itself.  A prince hides his identity. There was a big city drone shot, a tree lighting, and a house with a front porch.  We saw ice skating in the background, and there was a snowman building scene.  Plenty of cute kids, at least one big scarf, and a snowball fight.

Daphne and Colin talked about ornaments that mean a lot to each of them while tree decorating.  We find out she’s a veteran who served for five years.  We had an almost kiss.  Later, she was dressed as an elf. The kids did our caroling for us, and near the end of the movie we see Daphne cuddling with a dog.

Did I Hear/See That Right?

So, let’s talk about the most important thing:  is it legal to modify a Marines uniform to try to make it look like a royal uniform of a random small country no one has heard of?  Because that was a Marine uniform masquerading as a royal uniform and it just felt wrong.

WHY is the announcement about the king and queen taking place at a Christmas charity event taking place in NYC?  Is that typically where small countries no one has ever heard of talks about their throne succession plans?

The film takes place in NYC.  And yet we’re to believe that when Colin wants to get to the tree lighting at the end of the movie that there were no cabs in NYC?  Not likely.  The longest I’ve ever waited for a cab in NYC was after work in a torrential rainstorm in the 1990s that caused the subways to flood.  Since no one could commute on the trains, people ran back upstairs to the street and quickly snagged every cab in the city.  But even then, I did eventually get one.

The snowman was ridiculously fake.  They always are, but in this movie the editor actually allowed the snowman to TIP A BIT when the actors touched it.  I’m sorry, but real snow packed into a giant ball and stacked three balls high would NOT tip if the actors touched it.

Feelgoods

I appreciated that the children’s choir actually sang in this movie.  YAY for real singing instead of an overlay soundtrack.

At some point Daphne says her grandmother is playing Canasta with friends.  What is it about grandmothers playing Canasta?  That was one of the first card games my grandmother taught me how to play.  That, and bridge.

I was happy when the grandmother was the only one in the room who knew who the prince and his family were, and when her family is surprised, she says, “I used the Google.”  YES – this is how these things work now.  You meet someone and the next thing you do is search for them online to make sure they are normal.  Thank you, grandma.

Re-watchability of “A Royal Queens Christmas”

This movie was bad – despite the tropes and the feelgoods, I really only brushed the surface on the plotholes in storytelling this movie had.  But would I rewatch it?  YEP!

The Ranking

“A Royal Queens Christmas” scored high because of the tropes and the royal storyline (which I’m a sucker for).  To be honest, I’m surprised it ranked as highly as it did.  But then again, I’m not – this is a weird movie for me.  I hated it, but I loved it too.

1. An Unexpected Christmas (air date: Nov 26) – 736 pts – weighted score: 123.0 (86.3%)
2. A Dickens of a Holiday! (air date: Dec 11) – 735 pts – weighted score: 122.3 (85.8%)
3. The Santa Stakeout (air date: Oct 24) – 730 pts – weighted score: 122.3 (85.8%)
4. A Christmas Family Tree (air date: Nov 14) – 730 pts – weighted score: 121.9 (85.5%)
5. You, Me and The Christmas Trees (air date: Oct 22) – 716 pts – weighted score: 121.3 (85.1%)
6. The Christmas House 2: Deck Those Halls (air date: Dec 18) – 710 pts – weighted score: 118.8 (83.4%)
7. Crashing Through The Snow (air date: July 10) – 705 pts – weighted score: 118.1 (82.8%)
8. The Nine Kittens of Christmas (air date: Nov 25) – 690 pts – weighted score: 116.5 (81.8%)
9. One December Night (air date: Nov 13) – 695 pts – weighted score: 116.3 (81.6%)
10. A Mrs. Miracle Christmas (air date: Nov 6) – 688 pts – weighted score: 116.2 (81.5%)
11. Every Time a Bell Rings (air date: Nov 1) – 687 pts – weighted score: 116.2 (81.5%)
12. Boyfriends of Christmas Past (air date: Oct 23) – 673 pts – weighted score: 116.1 (81.5%)
13. A Royal Queens Christmas (air date: Dec 11) – 690 pts – weighted score: 115.3 (80.9%)
14. Next Stop, Christmas (air date: Nov 6) – 682 pts – weighted score: 114.7 (80.5%)
15. It Was Always You (air date: Feb 27) – 668 pts – weighted score: 114.2 (80.1%)
16. The Christmas Promise (air date: Oct 30) – 675 pts – weighted score: 114.1 (80.0%)
17. Gingerbread Miracle (air date: Nov 5) – 671 pts – weighted score: 114.0 (80.0%)
18. Christmas In My Heart (air date: Oct 23) – 675 pts – weighted score: 113.9 (79.9%)
19. A Kiss Before Christmas (air date: Nov 21) – 671 pts – weighted score: 111.9 (78.5%)
20. Open at Christmas (air date: Nov 12) – 658 pts – weighted score: 111.6 (78.3%)
21. You Had Me At Aloha (air date: June 5) – 675 pts – weighted score: 111.4 (78.1%)
22. A Christmas Together With You (air date: Nov 20) – 645 pts – weighed score: 110.9 (77.8%)
23. Five More Minutes (air date: Nov 21) – 645 pts – weighted score: 110.8 (77.7%)
24. Sweet Carolina (air date: May 15) – 648 pts – weighted score: 110.1 (77.2%)
25. A Very Merry Bridesmaid (air date: Dec 4) – 644 pts – weighted score: 109.5 (76.8%)
26. One Summer (air date: Oct 3) – 637 pts – weighted score: 109.2 (76.6%)
27. Taking a Shot at Love (air date: Jan 2) – 641 pts – weighted score: 108.9 (76.4%)
28. Christmas in Tahoe (air date: Nov 28) – 653 pts – weighted score: 108.7 (76.3%)
29. Don’t Go Breaking My Heart (air date: Mar 27) – 636 pts – weighted score: 108.5 (76.1%)
30. Christmas at Castle Hart (air date: Nov 27) – 639 pts – weighted score: 108.0 (75.8%)
31. Right in Front of Me (air date: Apr 18) – 637 pts – weighted score: 108.0 (75.8%)
32. As Luck Would Have It (air date: Apr 10) – 638 pts – weighted score: 107.7 (75.5%)
33. Her Pen Pal (air date: June 19) – 636 pts – weighted score: 107.1 (75.1%)
34. Time for Them to Come Home for Christmas (air date: Nov 27) – 638 pts – weighted score: 106.8 (74.9%)
35. The Baker’s Son (air date: June 13) – 637 pts – weighted score: 106.3 (74.6%)
36. The Christmas Contest (air date: Nov 28) – 628 pts – weighted score: 105.9 (74.3%)
37. South Beach Love (air date: Oct 9) – 615 pts – weighted score: 105.8 (74.2%)
38. Love Strikes Twice (air date: Oct 2) – 608 pts – weighted score: 105.2 (73.8%)
39. A Holiday in Harlem (air date: Nov 7) – 628 pts – weighted score: 105.1 (73.7%)
40. Christmas Sail (air date: Oct 31) – 606 pts – weighted score: 105.1 (73.7%)
41. Christmas in Harmony (air date: Oct 29) – 605 pts – weighted score: 104.8 (73.5%)
42. A Christmas Treasure (air date: Nov 7) – 625 pts – weighted score: 104.6 (73.4%)
43. A Winter Getaway (air date: Jan 23) – 620 pts – weighted score: 104.4 (73.3%)
44. A Godwink Christmas: Miracle of Love (air date: Dec 11) – 610 pts – weighted score: 104.4 (73.2%)
45. Coyote Creek Christmas (air date: Oct 30) – 614 pts – weighted score: 104.3 (73.2%)
46. Love, For Real (air date: July 31) – 607 pts – weighted score: 103.6 (72.7%)
47. Christmas CEO (air date: Nov 26) – 596 pts – weighted score: 103.5 (72.6%)
48. Rise and Shine, Benedict Stone (air date: Oct 1) – 595 pts – weighted score: 103.0 (72.2%)
49. Mix Up in the Mediterranean (air date: Feb 20) – 590 pts – weighted score: 102.5 (71.9%)
50. Advice to Love By (air date: Oct 16) – 599 pts – weighted score: 102.2 (71.7)
51. Two For The Win (air date: Jan 16) – 603 pts – weighted score: 101.8 (71.4%)
52. Taking the Reins (air date: Sept 28) – 574 pts – weighted score: 101.2 (71.0%)
53. Raise a Glass to Love (air date: Sept 18) – 590 pts – weighted score: 100.7 (70.7%)
54. Eight Gifts of Hanukkah (air date: Dec 3) – 590 pts – weighted score: 100.3 (70.4%)
55. Nantucket Noel (air date: Nov 18) – 585 pts – weighted score: 100.3 (70.4%)
56. Chasing Waterfalls (air date: Mar 20) – 570 pts – weighted score: 100.3 (70.4%)
57. Roadhouse Romance (air date: Sept 11) – 571 pts – weighted score: 100.2 (70.3%)
58. Sweet Pecan Summer (air date: ) – 576 pts – weighted score: 97.3 (68.3%)
59. Sand Dollar Cove (air date: June 26) – 557 pts – weighted score: 96.8 (67.9%)
60. Hearts Down Under (air date: Apr 24) – 547 pts – weighted score: 95.2 (66.8%)
61. Fit for a Prince (air date: Mar 6) – 546 pts – weighted score: 94.6 (66.4%)
62. A New Year’s Resolution (air date: Jan 9) – 516 pts – weighted score: 90.5 (63.5%)
63. Finding Love in Mountain View (air date: ) – 504 pts – weighted score: 89.5 (62.8%)
64. A Little Daytime Drama (air date: Aug 21) – 511 pts – weighted score: 87.7 (61.5%)
65. Baby, It’s Cold Inside (air date: May 8) – 495 pts – weighted score: 85.6 (60.0%)
66. Playing Cupid (air date: Feb 13) – 466 pts – weighted score: 82.6 (58.0%)
67. Beverly Hills Wedding (air date: Feb 6) – 431 pts – weighted score: 80.6 (56.5%)
68. Journey of my Heart (air date: ) – 450 pts – weighted score: 76.0 (53.3%)
69. Snowkissed (air date: Jan 31) – 402 pts – weighted score: 76.0 (53.3%)

To see where this movie lands in my overall rankings of Hallmark movies, visit my Hallmark Movie Rankings page!

What did you think of “A Royal Queens Christmas”?  Comment below and let me know!