Hallmark For All Seasons

From the high of highs (“Two Turtle Doves”) to the low of lows (albeit not the lowest).  Oh, how I wanted to love this movie because I like 99% of what Andrew Walker does.  But I just couldn’t do it.  And it makes me very sad.  “Merry & Bright” aired on Hallmark Channel on Saturday, November 2, 2019.  It stars Jodie Sweetin and Andrew Walker and was filmed entirely in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada (that’s two movies in a row filmed there).

In a nutshell

I had so many hopes.  I was riding the high of the previous evening’s amazing offering.  And perhaps that was “Merry & Bright”s ultimate downfall: it wasn’t “Two Turtle Doves.”

Plot

Cate (Sweetin) meets Gabe (Walker) during the busy Christmas season at her family-owned candy cane factory. She assumes Gabe is the suitor her well-meaning mother is trying to set her up with when in reality, he works for a company which has been hired to streamline her company’s operation. As Cate and Gabe begin to work together, they find they have more in common than savvy business sense.

Actors

I have to be honest and say that I’m not a huge fan of Jodie Sweetin.  I can’t help it – I have tried and tried to like her movies, but for the most part her movies are always disappointing, and I have never been sure whether it’s her or her leading men letting her down.  So when Hallmark Channel announced her co-star for this movie, I got excited.  Would I finally come away from a Jodie Sweetin Hallmark movie and say I liked it?  Sadly, nope.

As for Andrew Walker, he is just charm personified on screen, and so great to watch.  While I may not always like his movies, I always like him in them.  And this movie was no different.

As for Six Degrees of Kris Polaha, Jodie Sweetin is three steps away.  She starred in “Farce of the Penguins” back in 2007, and looking at Wikipedia it’s some weird straight-to-video parody movie that featured a LOT of heavy-hitting voice actors.  Her co-star in that, Lewis Black, had previously co-starred with Greg Germann in 1993’s “The Night We Never Met.” Germann and Polaha co-starred in “Atlas Shrugged Part III” in 2014.

Chemistry

Very little chemistry showed up in this movie.  While I did appreciate the fact that Cate and Gabe had a legit kiss long before the final scene of the movie, that was the only moment of chemistry I felt between the characters leading up to that point.

Feelgoods

Many years ago I volunteered at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Utah for a week.  It was a really fun week of caring for dogs and cats, and even horses, while I was there.  One dog in particular stole my heart.  He was an older dog and looked like a hot mess.  Because of what he looked like, his name was Tramp.  I LOVED Tramp and was so desperate to adopt him and bring him home with me.  To this day I still have a small picture of Tramp hanging on my wall in my office at work.  He did eventually get adopted, that ragamuffin dog.  The puppy in this movie?  Looked like a baby version of Tramp.  Add in some ratty grey fur and that dog was a mini-Tramp.  That was my one feel from “Merry & Bright.”

Tropes

Maybe I got bored checking for tropes, but I only clocked a handful.

Vintage TV star Sharon Lawrence played Cate’s mother.  The movie basically started with CGI snow coming down on our screens.  The family candy cane business was in trouble and sought out a Big Evil Corporation to swoop in and save the day.  There was a baking montage.  Cate and Gabe did drink hot cocoa at a Christmas festival.  More on that a bit later.

Did I miss any?  I’m sure I did.  Comment below and tell me what I missed.

Bingo Card Score for “Merry & Bright”

Not even close to bingo with this movie.  One 9 squares covered this go-round.

Did I Hear/See That Right?

And here is where we talk about Jodie Sweetin’s hair in her Hallmark movies.  I don’t know who her stylist is in these movies, but clearly they have an agenda, and that agenda is to make Jodie Sweetin look like she is dressing up for Halloween as Middle-Aged Mom.  Seriously.  Her hair is always extremely teased and made into a bouffant ‘do.  She wears awful jewelry and clothes more suited to a young-ish grandmother than a young woman Jodie’s age.  It drives me CRAZY.

Next up, let’s talk about that hot cocoa scene.  The cups were actual ceramic mugs, and it was so clear that the only things in those cups were some whipped cream and a candy cane because both Sweetin and Walker were swinging those mugs around without a care in the world about spilling hot milk on themselves.  It was laughably bad.

Lastly, let’s talk about that dopey desk clerk with the girlfriend who wanted him to propose.  He was so obtuse so as to be clearly out of his girlfriend’s league that I hated that whole subplot.  NO MAN is so clueless that he can’t figure out from a couple simple conversations that his girlfriend is hoping for a marriage proposal.

And this last one is strictly a nitpick, not a gaping plothole.  One thing I appreciate about Hallmark movies is that when the characters slow dance, they are in a loose waltz stance so that they can talk and not have it feel awkward.  WHO ON EARTH directed Jodie Sweetin to go full 7th grade dance and wrap her arms around Walker’s neck?  SO awkward to watch – I hated the two scenes where they danced.  I felt like “For Your Eyes Only” by Sheena Easton should be playing in the background (that being the song I slow-danced to in 7th grade with the guy I had a major crush on).

Re-watchability

Sadly, no rewatch on this one. Not even for Tramp the Dog.

The Ranking

It ranked higher than two other Christmas movies already released in 2019, but that’s not saying much. That speaks more to Andrew Walker’s likability than anything else, I’m afraid.

1. Two Turtle Doves (air date: Nov 1) – 742 pts – weighted score: 123.7 (86.8%)
2. Christmas Wishes and Mistletoe Kisses (air date: Oct 26) – 719 pts – weighted score: 121.0 (84.9%)
3. Love to the Rescue RE-RANKED (air date: March 23) – 708 pts – weighted score: 120.6 (84.6%)
4. Winter Love Story (air date: January 19) – 685 pts – weighted score: 115.8 (81.2%)
5. Mystery 101 (air date: January 27 (HMM)) – 454 pts – weighted score: 94.2 (80.5%)
6. Love on the Menu (air date: February 23) – 642 pts – weighted score: 113.8 (79.9%)
7. Bottled With Love (air date: April 13) – 649 pts – weighted score: 112.2 (78.7%)
8. Love Takes Flight (air date: April 27) – 670 pts – weighted score: 111.0 (77.9%)
9. Love, Romance & Chocolate (air date: February 16) – 627 pts – weighted score: 110.2 (77.3%)
10. The Last Bridesmaid (air date: June 22) – 643 pts – weighted score: 109.2 (76.6%)
11. Love, Fall and Order (air date: Oct 12) – 636 pts – weighted score: 109.0 (76.5%)
12. Paris, Wine & Romance (air date: May 4) – 638 pts – weighted score: 108.3 (76.0%)
13. My Boyfriend’s Back: Wedding March 5 (air date: June 8) – 635 pts – weighted score: 108.0 (75.8%)
14. Over the Moon in Love (air date: Oct 5) – 613 pts – weighted score: 106.3 (74.6%)
15. Flip That Romance (air date: March 16) – 597 pts – weighted score: 105.8 (74.2%)
16. My One and Only (air date: Aug 31) – 597 pts – weighted score: 105.6 (74.1%)
17. Mystery 101: Playing Dead (air date: June 23 (HMM)) – 425 pts – weighted score: 86.5 (73.9%)
18. A Summer Romance (air date: Aug 17) – 577 pts – weighted score: 103.7 (72.7%)
19. True Love Blooms (air date: April 6) – 598 pts – weighted score: 103.1 (72.3%)
20. Forever in My Heart (air date: Sept 14) – 560 pts – weighted score: 102.4 (71.8%)
21. The Story of Us (air date: February 9) – 605 pts – weighted score: 101.3 (71.1%)
22. A Brush with Love (air date: March 30) – 563 pts – weighted score: 97.7 (68.6%)
23. Ruby Herring: Silent Witness (air date: January 20 (HMM)) – 357 pts – weighted score: 79.5 (67.9%)
24. Love, Unleashed (air date: July 6, 2019) – 559 pts – weighted score: 96.2 (67.5%)
25. Love Under the Rainbow (air date: March 9) – 581 pts – weighted score: 96.0 (67.4%)
26. One Winter Proposal (air date: January 12) – 535 pts – weighted score: 95.8 (67.2%)
27. Just Add Romance (air date: March 2) – 548 pts – weighted score: 95.6 (67.1%)
28. From Friend to Fiance (air date: May 25) – 555 pts – weighted score: 94.8% (66.5%)
29. Christmas Camp (air date: July 11) – 530 pts – weighted score: 93.9 (65.9%)
30. Love and Sunshine (air date: Aug 3) – 504 pts – weighted score: 91.7 (64.3%)
31. Crossword Mysteries: A Puzzle to Die For (air date: March 10 (HMM) – 354 pts – weighted score: 74.1 (63.3%)
32. Sister of the Bride (air date: June 29) – 516 pts – weighted score: 89.8 (63.0%)
33. Valentine in the Vineyard (air date: February 2) – 503 pts – weighted score: 89.5 (62.8%)
34. Love, Take Two (air date: June 15) – 507 pts – weighted score: 87.8 (61.6%)
35. All Summer Long (air date: Aug 24) – 512 pts – weighted score: 87.7 (61.5%)
36. Snowcoming (air date: January 26) – 485 pts – weighted score: 87.3 (61.2%)
37. The Winter Castle (air date: January 5) – 475 pts – weighted score: 85.9 (60.2%)
38. Merry & Bright (air date: Nov 2) – 483 pts – weighted score: 84.4 (59.2%)
39. Nostalgic Christmas (air date: Oct 31) – 446 pts – weighted score: 79.2 (55.6%)
40. A Merry Christmas Match (air date: Oct 25) – 455 pts – weighted score: 78.3 (54.9%)
41. Sailing Into Love (air date: May 18) – 455 pts – weighted score: 78.0 (54.7%)
42. Rome in Love (air date: July 27) – 436 pts – weighted score: 76.7 (53.8%)
43. A Taste of Summer (air date: Aug 10) – 403 pts – weighted score: 70.9 (49.7%)
44. A Winter Princess (air date: January 18) – 380 pts – weighted score: 70.5 (49.5%)
45. A Feeling of Home (air date: May 11) – 386 pts – weighted score: 69.7% (48.9%)
46. Love in the Sun (air date: June 1) – 361 pts – weighted score: 62.5 (43.8%)

To see where this movie lands in my overall rankings of Hallmark movies, visit my Hallmark Movie Rankings page!

What did you think of “Merry & Bright”?  Comment below and let me know!

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